Aftermath
by GeorgysGirl
Summary: Short Harry orientated stories which follow Bloodlines and contain spoilers therein. How he relates to the women in his life following the events in Hungary...
1. Mother's Love

Fandom: Silent Witness  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Bloodlines  
Notes: Had this floating around in my head along with a couple of other shorty fics...  
Disclaimer: As they say a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend but sadly this is going to be vague. These characters do not belong to me, they belong to the BBC. Sadly.

Harry was tired. Every bone in his body ached; every thought in his head was an effort. He longed for sleep, but somehow it eluded him. His room was in semi darkness, the curtains blocking out the weak afternoon sunshine to a dull glow. He lay there for a moment or two longer before hauling himself out off the bed and pulling his t shirt on, he wandered downstairs. He could hear the sound of the radio from the kitchen, Radio 4, and his mother humming along to the Archers' theme. She was baking, her hands moving through the practised motions of pastry making, a plate of chopped apples on the counter top next to her. He leaned in the doorway to watch her, waiting for her to notice his presence, knowing that she hated it when he crept up on her. She turned to go to the fridge and caught sight of him lingering in the doorway and a smile blossomed on her face.

"Did you sleep?"

"Not at all," he answered. She held out her floury hands to him and he walked into the embrace, allowing her to pull him close and drop an affectionate kiss on his stubbly cheek.

"You need to shave. And shower. You smell." She released him and moved to the fridge to pull out an egg from the egg box. Harry settled himself at the counter top opposite her so he could watch as she fitted the pastry into the pie tin, filled it with apples and cinnamon then laid the pastry across the top and brushed it with beaten egg.

"I love apple pie."

"I know you do darling. It's why I'm making it. And there's roast chicken for dinner." She smiled at him again but he caught the pain in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Mum."

Her fingers stilled and she stared at him. "What could you possibly be sorry for Harry?"

"You thought I was dead. You had to be told I was dead."

"I'm sure it was far worse for Dr Alexander than for me." Her voice wobbled a little and Harry ached at the thought of the conversation Nikki and his mother must have had. "She was very upset."

"She was."

"But I knew." Harry's mother lifted her head and for the first time in a long time he looked at her. Really looked at her. He had inherited her dark eyes and hair although hers was shot through with grey now. She was an elegant woman, aging gracefully and really quite beautiful. She had ignored the current trend for Botox among her friends and chosen to embrace her life, moving on from her disastrous first marriage to Harry's father and now living in Richmond with a professor of orthopaedic surgery. They had married last year in a quiet registry office ceremony and Harry had attended, Nikki by his side.

"What did you know?"

"I knew you were alive." She turned away and opened the oven door, releasing a burst of heat. She placed the pie on the centre shelf, closed the door and set the timer. "I always thought it was stupid. All these women who say that they knew in their heart that their child was alive. I never believed it until now. But when Nikki told me, I couldn't believe her. She was crying down the phone poor girl, but I couldn't believe her. You didn't feel dead. There was this... hope inside me. This burning feeling. You were alive."

"Mum..."

"I just knew. With sublime confidence I just knew." She lifted his chin up so he was forced to meet her gaze. "Just as I know there's something you're not telling me and that's fine. Some things mothers shouldn't know about their sons."

"She was pregnant." It slipped out before Harry had a chance to censor himself. "Anna. The girl who died. She was pregnant." His mother's expression froze. "You know that I knew the girl. That I was staying with her. I didn't find out until... afterwards." Harry closed his eyes against the memory of the three of them in the cemetery. Nikki trying to find the words that would break his heart. That Anna had been pregnant with his child. 8 weeks. Had to have been his.

"Oh Harry..."

His mother's arms came around him and he realised he had spoken out loud, the fractured thoughts that had been going round and round in his mind had finally spilled out. He leaned into her and allowed his grief full reign. Harry clutched at his mother, wrapping his arms around her and she held him steady as the sobs wracked his body. She did not speak but buried her face in his hair and stood in silent communion with her son as he raged against the unfairness of what had happened. That he blamed himself for Anna's death was clear, that he could not have saved her was also clear but something he would perhaps learn to live with.

Claire Cunningham held her son close and wept for his lost child, for the mother of his lost child and for him.


	2. Path Not Taken

The phone sat on the table, matt black and gleaming. He had found time to clean the blood from it, his blood, Anna's blood, Agnes' blood and now it sat there. Somewhere in the ether his mail box bulged fatly with messages, messages of relief that he was alive, desperation from Leo that he can't get hold of him, and Anna. There's a message from her too and that he can't listen to. Not yet.

Harry moved restlessly around his apartment, unable to settle in any particular place. He had been shopping and re-stocked his fridge, done his washing, thrown away the clothes that were ruined beyond repair and sent some emails. He had spoken briefly to his mother whose home he had just left after spending 2 weeks under her care. Hardly a mother hen, she has supported him silently through his grief, never asking for details, details which he nevertheless gave one sunny afternoon in her kitchen. Leo has been in touch every day and Nikki? Nikki has texted him a couple of times and rung once while at his mother's but otherwise he hasn't heard anything from her. He hates that there is this division between them. He hates anything that comes between them, professionally or personally. He saw the grief written on her face as she approached the mausoleum, the stress that his presumed death had caused her and even as he held her close and she collapsed into his arms, she didn't seem to believe it was him. They'd barely spent any time together or even spoken since their return from Hungary, and he wondered how they would even start putting their friendship back together.

It occurred to him that at this minute in time what he wanted was her. Not her in bed although he would be honest and admit that he had done in the past. Would probably do so in the future but right now he wanted her presence. Just here. Sitting with him. Her obvious distress at having to give the news about Anna's pregnancy, that she was destroying some kind of dream for him, was something that would take a long time to heal. She told him on the plane home that she hadn't checked Leo's voicemail until she was leaving the office. That it was her fault things had gone the way they had and perhaps if she had checked more regularly he wouldn't have been through... what had happened. Harry had laid his hand on hers, told her he didn't blame her but he knew she blamed herself.

His decision made, Harry grabbed his phone and dialled Nikki's number. It diverted straight to voicemail _voicemail would doom them all_ he thought. _Nikki? It's Harry. I guess you're elbow deep in someone at the moment. I wondered if you wanted to come by for dinner tonight. About 7ish. Drop me a text to let me know. _

An hour later while he was shoulder deep in a hot bath his phone buzzed with Nikki's text back. _See you at 7_. Nothing else. He frowned at the brief message but put his phone down and submerged himself under the hot foamy water, holding his breath until his lungs ached and he came up panting for air but alive.

His doorbell rang at just gone 7 and Harry was impressed. Nikki was notorious for being late, to the point where her secretary told her her appointments were twenty minutes earlier than they were, just to build in the extra time. He had brought her an alarm clock for Christmas one year but somehow it made no difference. Nikki was just set to a different time zone to everyone else. He opened the door and she stood there, hands full of bags which he reached out to take.

"I came straight from work," she explained. "I thought I'd get dessert."

"Good plan." He stepped out the way to let her in and followed her into the kitchen where they dumped the bags.

"I got cheesecake, is that OK? And some wine because I didn't know whether you had any. Red and white. Perhaps I should have got beer – I should have asked what dinner was and then I'd have known but I only had time to check my phone quickly. I've been so busy today, me and Leo both have and the locum we've got is useless."

Harry's finger settled on Nikki's mouth and she stared up at him, her eyes wide.

"Just shhhh." He said quietly. "Just be quiet."

He enfolded her into his arms and in the peace of his apartment they stood there, leaning into each other, breathing the other's presence in.

"I thought you were dead."

"I thought I was dead too."

"I had to ring your mother. I feel dreadful, perhaps if I'd waited she could have been spared knowing what was going on."

"She would have heard through the news. Better that it came from you."

"Harry, I'm so sorry."

"I know you are Nik. It's OK."

They lapsed into their usual routine, dinner, clear up – Nikki washing and Harry drying because Nikki always put things away in the wrong place. They had polished off the bottle of red which went with Harry's chilli and now he was opening the white to accompanying the cheesecake and now they were curled up at opposite ends of the sofa with the telly on, burbling away to itself in the background.

"Tell me about my replacement then," Harry topped up Nikki's glass and then his own and she groaned.

"Hopeless. She's completely hopeless. Carol is so close to strangling her. She keeps trying to sit at your desk and look at your post and Carol has resorted to locking your stuff in her desk."

Harry stifled a laugh at the thought of his forthright secretary defending his privacy.

"She's dying to meet you. The locum. Her name's Deborah."

"Pretty?"

Nikki shook her head. "I'd push her out of bed but I suppose it depends what you like."

An awkward silence fell between then and Harry glanced up at Nikki who was watching the TV fixedly. He laid a hand on her foot which was tucked between him and a cushion and she nearly dropped her glass in shock. He took it from her and moved until he was sitting close, very close to her, until he had her full attention.

"I liked Anna." Nikki's eyes fluttered shut with sadness but opened in surprise at his next words. "And I like you." He shrugged self consciously. "Always have done. Always will do."

She smiled at him tenatively.

"And things aren't good now. I don't know when they will be. But I thought…." He trailed off for a moment. "I thought you should know."

Nikki laced her fingers into his and they looked at each other for a long moment and then he settled back on to his end of the sofa, pulling her with him, tucking her comfortably into his arms.

"I know," she whispered, and closed her eyes.


	3. First Day Back

Harry moved slowly through the office, lifting a hand to Leo who waved back then gestured to the phone cradled between his ear and his neck. Harry nodded and walked through to the office that he and Nikki shared. She wasn't there either, out at a crime scene her text had said, back later. His desk was surprisingly clear. He wasn't sure what he had expected but the usual sprawling mess of Nikki's desk was in complete opposition to his tidy one. His A4 paper diary lay to one side, a neat stack of papers with a yellow post it stuck on the top with "POST IN DATE ORDER" written in clear handwriting. The message light was flashing on his phone and his heart sank at the thought of all the voicemail messages he had no doubt accumulated. Harry sank down into his chair and gazed at his desk. An envelope was propped up against his keyboard with the words "DR CUNNINGHAM – READ THIS FIRST". His curiosity piqued, he lifted the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper within, written in the same clear handwriting as the post it note.

_Dear Dr C,_ it read,_ I'm really sorry I'm not here to see you back but you probably didn't remember that I'm on holiday this week, back next Monday. I've dealt with as much as your post as I could and the rest is on your desk. I went through your emails (hope you don't mind) and deleted all the crap out and marked those that I haven't responded to. The same with your voicemails, a list of them is on top of your post but they are mostly "what the hell is going on" calls. I've saved one of them I thought you'd want to listen to. Your diary is up to date and Professor Dalton is taking your Court dates this week for obvious reasons. I've refilled your coffee stash and Fiona will pick up any admin work you need doing. Take it easy and I'll see you in a week's time. Yours, Carol X_

Harry couldn't help the smile in response to his secretary's thoughtful actions. A bright, cheerful woman in her mid thirties, she had worked for him for nearly 3 years now, taking his chaotic life in her stride, efficiently organising him and occasionally despairing of the messes he seemed to end up in. He guessed that Nikki would have had to tell her that he had been killed and then pulled a Lazarus. He wondered if there was any way of getting hold of Carol to let her know how much he appreciated her quiet efficiency but decided instead to buy her some flowers for her first day back. He re-read the note, hearing Carol's voice in his head, and then turned to look at his phone. It would have to be something special or something important for her to have left it. He dialled his mailbox, tucking the phone into the crook of his neck as he flicked on his computer and stopped cold as Anna's voice came on.

" 'arry. It's Anna. I've obviously missed you. I'll try your mobile instead. In case you do get this before you leave. I'm looking forward to seeing you. Viszontlátásra drágám."

Harry sat in silence as the memories ran through his head. It had been a month now, nearly six weeks since Anna had died. Time in the hospital and then enforced medical leave to make sure he had his head back together before he came back to work. Time that he had spent running everything through in his mind, remembering every word, every breath. He hated himself for the argument, for his inability to realise that she had been trying to tell him something important. That for a brief time he had been a father. And now he was nothing more than a pathologist.

The receiver was gently taken out of his grasp and placed in the cradle and Harry realised Leo was standing by him, concern clear on his face

"You OK?"

Harry blinked the tears away; tears that he hadn't even realised had come, and managed to quirk a smile up at his friend.

"Not yet, but I will be." He rose to his feet. "Come on, Carol left me the good stuff."


	4. Working Relationships

Coming into the Lyell Centre at the beginning of his second week back at work, the security guard greeted Harry with a grin at the sight of the large bouquet of flowers he was holding.

"Morning Dr Cunningham. Upset Dr Alexander again, have you? You've only been back a week."

Harry and Nikki's disagreements were sporadic but legendary and loud and Harry was nearly always the one who ended up apologising – not because he was wrong, but he hated fighting with Nikki and sometimes it was just easier to back down. On the other hand sometimes it wasn't and the disagreement that they'd had a few months ago had seriously damaged their relationship, fatally, Harry had thought at the time but slowly they had begun to rebuild and had just got back on an even keel when he had left for Budapest.

"Oh Terence, I'm fairly certain that we'd been arguing you'd have heard us." Harry allowed him to swipe the wand across his body, front and back and then emptied his pockets when it buzzed. "Is Carol in yet?"

"Not seen her yet but it's early. She's usually in at about quarter to."

"Brilliant," Harry flashed Terence a smile. "I'll see you later."

Carol's desk had started the week looking neat and tidy but as Harry had got back into his stride he had begun to offload more work, post that needed replying to with his stickies on, telephone messages that other members of staff had taken, files that he had dictated on – all piled up on her desk, looking rather precarious. He tidied up as best he could and left the bouquet on her desk with a little card. He was grateful, incredibly grateful that she had made the difficult job of coming back to work a lot easier. As he got back into his stride he found that she had left him notes for the week including a rather sharp resume of the locum who had been covering for him in his absence. He stifled a grin as he re-read her feedback. She hadn't liked her and therefore Deborah the locum would be dropped to the bottom of the emergency cover pile. He had to agree with Carol on this one. One of his tasks for the week had been to double check some of her work and he had not been impressed. He knew Nikki hadn't liked her either and Leo had stayed well out of it, just grateful for the extra help.

He immersed himself in reading the file of one of the post mortems he was appointed to do and it was an hour or so later when a cup of steaming black coffee was placed on his desk. He looked up and Carol was leaning next to him, reading the file over his shoulder.

"Can't wait to do that one," she said sceptically. "Looks disgusting. Is that... lego?"

Harry rose to his feet and wrapped his arms around her. Terribly un-PC, he thought to himself, no doubt there was some kind of regulation in force to prevent boss to secretary hugs . She ignored any protocol there might have been and leaned in, hugging him back. They stood like that for a moment or so, long enough for him to realise she was wearing the Anna Sui perfume he had bought her for Christmas, and then she reached up and brushed her lips across his cheek.

"Don't ever do that again Dr Cunningham."

"Hug you?"

She grinned and blushed a little. "You can do that again. Just don't..."

"Die?" Harry sank back into his chair. "I'm sorry Carol."

"Yeah I'll bet you've been apologising to everyone." Her tone was wry and he was surprised when she laid her hand across his check to make him look at her. "You did what you had to do, I understand that and so does everyone else. We're just glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back too." They smiled at each other. All the complicated emotional stuff that seemed to be present when he spoke to Nikki or to his mother or to Leo had gone. Carol was straightforward and unafraid of speaking her mind.

Carol glanced over her shoulder to the door. "Dr Alexander was a right mess you know."

"I know."

"Heartbroken, almost."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Harry looked up at her unusually oblique comment but she was already walking out of the room. "See you later Dr C."


End file.
